We always get this extremely prophetic relationship advice. Hell, I write the advice, AND I read the advice.
So we take it all in. We absorb it. We devour it. But what are we really taking away from it? What are the lessons?
The truths are there, but they are hard to wring out of the generalizations. My guess is they’re too abstract. I don’t know what anyone is talking about when he or she tells me not to say “but,” and I have no clue what saying “me” instead of “we” means.
I need hard, concrete advice.
What should I seriously NOT say to ruin my own life? What the actual f*ck?
We all pretty much know there are things we just don’t say to our SOs if we want to A) stay in our relationship and B) have sex in our relationship.
What we NEED, however, is a definitive list. We need a simple guide to keeping our relationships healthy, our orifices filled on a nightly basis and our partners happy and ~chill~.
Here it is: Every damn sentence that can (and will) ruin your relationship. You’re welcome.
Today lets take a look at the first eight 8.
1. “Your ass looks big in those jeans.”
Saying anything potentially rude about your SO’s body is going to result in unleashing the ~crazy~.
2. “I don’t care.”
If you care, don’t say you don’t care and then get mad when your partner believes you.
3. “We need to talk.”
Nope.
4. “I’m fine.”
You’re not fine, so stop lying. It’s not attractive, and it certainly does not work.
5. “It doesn’t matter.”
It does matter. You’re just fishing.
6. “Your friend is really hot.”
Do you have a death wish? Seriously?
7. “You don’t need to drink.”
Oh, really? F*ck off.
8. “I’m too tired tonight.”
If you are too tired, you can be on the bottom, like a starfish. But you’re not too tried. You’ve been sitting at a desk all day.
